Desperate penning

This is a desperate attempt to pen down whatever comes to my mind

Time: 11.45 AM Wednesday

problem is when you start noticing your thought they “start stopping” and eventually you need to force start them. I waited for first thought to occur but eventually I was the one who surrendered. 

Then I feel that mind or more precisely the conscious is more powerful and adamant. It works as it like or as I don’t like or it might be an act to make me realize that I am actually adamant, the very old trick of putting my leg in someone else shoe. So it acts to improvise our behaviour, but as depicted by the nagging crowd the whole concept is wrong. 

Hence my first explanation is good that our conscious is adamant and that can be verified by the Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen who is a noble prize winner. But it don’t matters for him because he wrote his book for some another purpose and this purpose is not only motivating him but thousands of other so called successful individuals. 

This purpose is the key of success neither money nor fame and love is out of question. The question is in what circumstances this sense of purpose generates, is it insufficient facilities or excess so that you have plenty of time to think. 

I think this is an outcome of what has happened in first 20 years of your life because after that you start consolidating everything. In the initial stage of life we are very helpless as our trillions of trillions branches of our neuron system are formed and destroyed to result into a single network which sustain our control for rest of our life. Our body organs also respond to the surrounding and develop accordingly. The most important thing after body development is the personality and that actually outstand a person in a group and that is continuously modified lifelong. So is that purpose is related to physical development or personality development? 

I think it is related to combination of both. I used to categorise successful people into virtual and real, for example Marilyn Monroe and Madhubala, they both died at age 36, both were gorgeous and wonderful actress. 

One decided to live a life of confusion by sleeping with men and ascended in life to ultimately found dead in her bedroom and which must have resulted in popularity of her nude scenes. Other one was a struggler since birth to death seen extreme poor condition at age 10, reached a level of excellence in her profession, supported her god damn father by not marring her love, died with a hole in heart. 

At first sight I will hardly distinguish between these two life’s but they are different because true success is the one which provide peace and harmony to you also and I am damn sure that Madhubala must be very happy with her life while dying. 

I am also a little upset with the development of medical science to not availing heart surgery at that early stage to keep that beauty alive, even today many dying H1N1 and all. In fact if you are in medical line you will understand that there are so many diseases and so many ways of spreading that it is by chance that we are keeping us healthy. 

The major cause of this is I think population as too many of single species is creating imbalance in our system and it will hamper the system even more when the species voluntarily destroying the balance.

Somehow this balance has to be restored and that’s why we are seeing catastrophic news these days. Well I would say what a crude idea or very illogical as this doesn’t involve any equation balance.

What am I writing? This is my thought process actually.

Time: 11.48 AM Wednesday

P.S. ----Thanks for your patience